I have dark fantasies about being kidnapped. I often wonder what is wrong with me. Ever since I was a little girl, I have had these fantasies. When I was young, I fantasized that someone would kidnap me and make me their daughter. It would have been so much better than the family I had, I thought to myself. My mom abandoned me, so I guess you could say I had mommy issues. Daddy used me as his sex slave and his punching doll and that was on a good day. As I grew older, I wished someone would kidnap me and do very bad things to me. The kind of things I want to do to myself, but I lack the courage. I have always been a cutter and a pain slut. I want to control my pain. I hesitate though with knifes. I see my blood and I stop. I feel pain and I do not go any further. I am a chicken shit. Deep down inside, I want to die. I understand I am a worthless slut. When daddy said it too me all those years ago, I did not believe it. I believe it now. I want to be a self-mutilator, but I cannot push myself that far. I want to kill myself often but can never take that final step. That is where men like you come in handy. You can take control of me. Leave me helpless and vulnerable. You can hurt me in ways I can only imagine. As I cut the flesh on my tender skin, I get wet thinking of you making that final cut. The one that will kill me. The one that will leave me bleeding out slowly. Are you game? I am hoping you have a violent snuff fantasy for me.
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