My mother used to tell me to suck it up and get it over with. My mother was a crackhead and an alcoholic who had bad taste for men. I don’t know what led her to think that she could ever be a responsible parent, but she had 5 Rugrats, not including me. I didn’t really call myself a youngster at any time because I was always grown in my mind. I was the oldest of all the bunch, and I had to be responsible for everybody, including my mother. The things I had to do with so many old dirty men were monstrous. My little tight wet cunt didn’t last long with my mom as a parent. I was angry when she came home, coked, and cracked out of her mind, barely being able to breathe. She laid right on the kitchen floor one time, and I thought she was dying. My mother started foaming at the mouth I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. I was scared that she was going to croak right there in my face and all of our faces because everyone else had woken up. By the way, it was after 3 in the morning. I started talking to her. I said don’t die, please I was begging. It was the most real thing I had ever experienced as far as I’m concerned at that point. Mama was a real drama queen mess. She had told me to fuck guys so that she could get money before, so that was nothing. What was happening in front of my eyes this night was everything because despite what she did, I still love to her, and I felt like I needed her so much. I begged her not to die because I need her. I was so young and so confused about what was I going to do if anything happened to her. She lived to find another drama for me.
Dana
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