I have wicked dark fantasies. I swear. I do not think a vanilla fantasy runs through my mind anymore. It might not ever have gone through my mind. I get high and my brain goes dark. Very dark. Like I want to mix sex and violence. I crave pain when I am high. I think maybe it has to do with the fact that I get so fucking high, my body goes numb. I need pain to feel alive. I hooked up last night with a guy who gave me coke. He did not just give it to me out of the generosity of his heart. There was a catch. I had to do whatever he wanted. Hey. I will exchange my body for coke any day. We got high together, but an hour into our partying, he got wild with me. He started smacking me around. He slapped my face and my tits. Punched me a few times too. That was nothing. I let guys beat me up all the time. How he stood out from the crowd was with his cattle prod. He brought that out and started electrocuting me. He put it on my tits, and I pissed myself. He thought that was funny. Even high as fuck, I felt that. He was just getting going. He started shoving that cattle prod up my cunt and in my ass. For a moment, I felt like a pig on an open fire at a luau. I could smell my flesh burning. It was a nauseating smell even fucked up. I started fighting him, but he just electrocuted me more frequently causing my body to spasm. My entire body started convulsing. He just laughed. He thought it was funny that I was pissing and shitting myself. I think I even foamed at the mouth before I passed out from the pain. I still do not regret it, however. I got free coke.
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